Useless conversations and anchor chains
If I feel like conducting a useless conversation, I tell a townie that I’m going to sail around the world from next year on. The effect is similar and differs only in nuances.
First, there is a compassionate and uncomprehending look, as if I had a rare speech blunder. If I repeat the sentence then, the gaze drifts into the slightly annoyed: what the heck? Pause. When the message gets through slowly, it usually gets uncomprehending. Eh? Of course, around the world next year. Another break. Oh yes, I’ve seen it on TV, three months with a cruise ship around the world or with air travel – that’s cool, are you doing that? No, we will travel with our sailing vessel, environmentally friendly. Long break. Do you have a sailing license? (This is the most important standard question of subordinate, orderly and working townies). Sure. How long do you plan to travel? Many years, around 10. What, 10 years, but then you have to leave Luxembourg? Yep. All alone? Yes. But who is organizing this for you? (This is a good chance to end the conversation). A travel agency. So, a travel agency is doing this kind of stuff? No, of course not. This is adventure, not a all-inclusive holiday. But those are huge distances. Yes, sometimes we will not see any land for weeks.
And what do you do at night, anchoring? Sure, we’re anchoring in the middle of the ocean. At 4,000 m water depth, we throw 12,000 m of chain into the water. Really? No. We sail day and night. But that is dangerous! Particulate matter is also dangerous or going gaga. And your house? I come back every Friday to empty the mailbox. Really? No. Do you rent your house then? For 10 years? No, we will sell. But then you do not have a house anymore? That’s right, we do not need it anymore. You live on the ship then? Yes, we already had one year onboard and it was great. Is not that too small? No, we will have plenty of space and everything we need. We also have the largest outdoor pool in the world.
But why going for such a long time? If you visit one of the 100,000 islands in the world every day, you would be at sears for 273 years. And how do you know where to go? The parrot on the shoulder will tell you. Say seriously. Navigation is the everyday life of a sailor and so far we have always arrived, as you can see. And what about pirates? We do not like, we try to avoid. And if not? Then it takes a heroic act. And if something breaks? Then we sit in the corner and cry. ????? No, we will fix it. An ADAC or ACL is not available on the ocean. But what are you doing in the storm? We curse to be sailed. And? Storm is really stupid, but all will pass. And waves? Are also stupid, but on a catamaran better to endure than in the mono. Can you cook something on the ship? Sure, we have stove, oven, grill, fridge, freezer. Like in a house. And a bath? Even three and believe it or not: real beds.
What about family and friends? We will miss that. From time to time we skype and they will hopefully visit us. You do not get any nicer to the Caribbean or the Bahamas anyway. Do you have enough to eat with you? I want to hope. A secret: you can buy food in all countries. And we fish. And what if you get sick? Life in nature is much healthier than on land, you rarely get sick. Are not you afraid? Not really, but we feel respect. But you do not know what’s going to happen? Yes, isn`t that great?
Then there’s usually one, two questions about the money and then again a little break. 9 out of 10 people say: wow, you’re doing it right.
And then I notice that the conversation was not so pointless after all.