Waiting frustration and looking forward

Waiting frustration and looking forward

Today there are exactly 100 days until we leave our house. Much has already been done and some things can’t be done yet. The house is getting more and more empty, cupboards, desks, chairs and especially my paintings are sold and will be picked up. Everything is on schedule and seems to be going well. Almost everything. At the moment, waiting frustration and anticipation do not balance each other.

Here is the point: I am getting extremely impatient. It’s been raining for days and days it’s been grey, cold and uncomfortable. I’m not just me. My friends, my family, everyone seems to be waiting for better weather and everyone is looking forward to spring.

It’s not that I have nothing to do. On the contrary, as always I have a list of things to do. Almost none of them are time-critical. I’ve always longed for just such times. To have time. To be free to decide when I work, when I paint, design or tidy drawers. But I still can’t deal with it at all. I read a little, play the piano a little, even painted a last picture. I think it turned out great. But now it is finished. Just like many other things. I lack goals and I lack structure, I guess.


So I structure my day. In the morning I study for my diving license (unfortunately this takes 4 days at most), check my mails and react. Sometimes there is a task, sometimes a: “Can you please …”. In the afternoon I play the piano, read, and pack more things together and sort whatever to keep track. In the evening I do sports. Never in my life have I done sports with so much pleasure and endurance. When my grandchildren are on vacations, I have my hands full. But even then it’s more a matter of days or weeks.

Done is done

Many boxes are already packed, much is sorted, papers are scanned. We have attended seminars, sorted accounts, adjusted mobile contracts and collected countless information about the places we will visit during the crossing.

And some things just can’t be done yet. The garage flea market is scheduled for April25 and a few visits to the authorities are scheduled. For my farewell tour to mum, dad, sister and aunts it is surely still too early.

So, what to do while waiting.

I have agreed with Holger to do some additional activities and trips. Sometimes a weekend to the coast, just to go to a town or visit the children. We play, read, talk a lot and yet we feel like in the transit area of an airport or in the waiting room where it’s no longer worth reading an article. We exhort each other to be patient and encourage each other to look forward.

Exactly, where did it actually go?

Already 730 days ago (the day we ordered the Rivercafe and signed the contract) we had anticipation. We watches some Youtuber, on a world circumnavigation, rummaged in books and maps and wrote checklists.

Now that the checklists are mostly done, we sit here and look into the grey and wait. I guess, we were ready too early.

Maybe it’s just that with the first rays of sunshine the anticipation is coming back.

Greetings from the GREY (RAL 7035) / Karin Binz

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