I will miss you
There is still some time left before we set sails. Over a year. But the idea of being separated is already set.
The message of I will miss you, applies to most people with whom I spend my days.
My family, mom and daughter, Henri and Hannah, Sabine, my neighbor, Serge, Irene, Valerié, Michaela, Stefanie, Manfred, Jürgen and Astrid and Michi and …, the nice ones in the bakery, Thommy and Birgit, our oldest friends and Yvonne, Daniel, Rike and Stephan and all of those who come to my birthday every year, Joergen, Gitte, Don, Bea, my sports coach …and so may more. Yesterday I saw Armand the postman in the street and asked myself: Will I miss him? Really. Too much I thought. We met so many wonderful people on our last long journey. And yes, I miss them too. New Year’s Eve is the Ultimate “I Miss You” date to me. I hear Peggy Lees “My Dear Acquaintance” (A Happy New Year) and think about the way it feels to be away from my acquaintances. I miss all those who mean something to me and who are just somewhere else. Sentimentality is one of my qualities and does not let go of my strengths. Now sentimentality also has a good reason to break the track and constantly appear in annoying appearance.
Thank heavens I have arrived back in everyday life. But it bothers me a lot.
The most loved ones
Henri and Hannah. I can’t and will not believe what it’s like to be a long time without the two of you. When I think of both, my heart bounces. I laughed at Henri’s first jokes and amused myself, which Hannah already spits on. There parents Jil and Holgi will make sure that my two petals are fine. I’ll comfort myself with that. When Henri is with me, standing at my bed at 5:30 in the morning and urgently needs to do something like painting or drink a cocoa – my world feels to be fine.
Jil, who I gave birth to at the age of 22 in the midst of my studies and apprenticeships, comforts me. She knows that the children will miss us too, but she is gifted enough in letting go. She knows that in my financial plan the post: “visiting children” is important and relies on it. That makes it easier for me to go sailing and I am very grateful to her.
Mummy. She has never stopped her children. Yes, she is scared and I do not want to think about how often she worries, but the last time she sailed with me on the sea she said: I’d like to come along. Well, the sea that day was calm flat. She is now 78 and still maintains a dignified, healthy lifestyle like a 30-year-old.
I have little contact with my father. He does not care what we do. He is in the center of his world. After my first double handed Atlantic crossing and one year on the oceans, he did not ask a single question about the trip. I was wondering if he even knew that we were traveling for a full year. A generational question maybe. But anyone who does not worry about me makes traveling around the world easier.
My most spoken phrase currently – in connection with my upcoming trip around the world – is: “Come visit us, we are a sailing hotel, so to speak”. It will turn out who will follow us, who is still interested even when we are no longer there. Yesterday, my physiotherapist said (a decidedly reflective person) many people are friends for purely pragmatic reasons. Now I think about who I’m friends with for pragmatic reasons and where a friendship starts and an acquaintance ends. What is important to me to whom. With Irene, I can be myself, I can express exactly what I like to say, even about her. I think the title is valuable. With Thommy and Birgit it is a deep growing affection. Like Yvonne, she impresses me with a huge heart for everything and everybody. At Valerié I love her depth and so I could go on.
But I will also miss those with whom I am in a looser connection. The just mentioned physio. Our conversations are like Picasso talking to his barber. Jürgen and Stephanie, Michael and Bärbel and some other client I will miss too and thats not because of the bills to write.
It is so much easier for me to write about the things I leave behind than about the people I will see rarely in the future or not even any more. Thats the point when flash of sadness hits, time to jump on the couch and watch Babylon Berlin. / kb